If you have a penis, you could benefit massively from prostate massage. Here’s why:
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It can prompt intense, full-body orgasms.
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It can help relieve a tight pelvic floor, the muscle group involved in both urination and orgasm.
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It promotes body acceptance, helping you associate your anus with sexual pleasure.
All great benefits, especially if you understand the prostate gland and its role in your body.
What is the prostate gland?
A small, rubbery gland about the size of a walnut. Its primary function is producing fluid that nourishes sperm (otherwise known as seminal fluid). Additionally, the prostate contains muscles that help push semen into and through your urethra when you orgasm.
Where is it located?
Below your bladder and in front of your rectum. You can find it by inserting a finger or toy about two inches inside your rectum, then pointing your finger or toy toward your navel. It’s sensitive and generally feels good when pressed: if you feel spongy tissue that responds positively to touch, you’ve probably found it.
You can also stimulate it indirectly by applying pressure to the perineum: the area between your testicles and your anus.
Do I have to be erect to stimulate it, massage it, or orgasm?
Nope.
What toys can I use for prostate play?
There are three main categories:
- Trainers to prepare and tone your sphincter muscles
- Non-vibrating plugs, massagers and dual stimulators
- Vibrating plugs, massagers and dual stimulators
Let’s dive into each category, so you can select a product that best speaks to your prostate needs.
SHOPPING GUIDE
When using anal toys, always remember to use lube generously. The anus does not self-lubricate!
A high-quality option like Pjur Backdoor Relaxing Anal Glide Lubricant is your friend. Apply generously to the toy and to yourself, before mindfully inserting any toy. With that in mind, here are the toys to look for.
Trainers
The purpose of an anal training kit or “trainer” is to adequately prepare your sphincter muscles, to avoid micro-tears and discomfort while exploring anal play. Just like you wouldn’t pop into the splits without stretching your hamstrings, trainers tone the small, sensitive muscles in your sphincter and anal cavity.
Note: trainers don’t “stretch out” your sphincter muscles permanently. They simply make these muscles more pliable, making insertion (of a finger, toy, or penis) more comfortable.
You need this if: you’re a beginner to anal penetration.
Look for: a kit with graduating sizes on their anal toys, and a flared base on all toys.
We love: The b-Vibe Anal Training Kit. Not only does it come with three different toy sizes, but the largest size is also weighted, to give you a satisfying sense of fullness and pressure. It also comes with a lube applicator and thorough guidebook, which is comforting for your first play foray.
Not all anal trainers come with toys that reach your prostate gland. That’s OK: the main purpose of trainers isn’t to massage your prostate, but to get your body used to anal penetration.
Non-Vibrating Toys
The purpose of a non-vibrating anal toy (also called anal plugs or butt plugs) is to provide gentle stimulation either to your prostate gland and/or to the sensitive nerve endings in your anal cavity.
Note: not all plugs are long enough to reach your prostate gland. Keep this in mind when shopping – a short plug will do a good job toning your sphincter muscles, but won’t necessarily provide prostate massage. If you know you want prostate action, look for the phrase “prostate massage” or “prostate stimulation” in the product description.
NON-VIBRATING PLUGS
You need this if: you’re a beginner to anal penetration, or want to feel fullness inside your anal cavity without stimulating your prostate and getting distracted by arousal (think Zoom calls).
Look for: a plug with a flared base.
We love: Icicles No. 26 Glass Butt Plug. It’s smooth, beginner-friendly, and made of glass, which some users prefer for its “harder” feel. Want a thrill? Dip it in cool or warm water before insertion, for mild temperature play.
NON-VIBRATING MASSAGERS
You need this if: you’re ready to massage your prostate, but want to try it gently.
Look for: an insertion length of at least two inches. You’ll probably also want a flared base, or at the very least an easy-to-grip end.
We love: Le Wand Stainless Steel Hoop. It’s weighty (stainless steel baby), which feels especially satisfying to many users. But we also appreciate its curvature and stimulating bulb tip: all the easier to reach your prostate. Just be cautious when playing since there’s no flared base, and keep a hand on the end – note the finger grips.
NON-VIBRATING DUAL STIMULATORS
You need this if: you’re ready to massage your prostate, want to try it gently, and wouldn’t mind stimulating your perineum in the process. These toys are also a nice option for partner play: because they’ve got a flared base, so you can insert without worrying it’ll go too far up in your body. The set-it-and-forget-it of prostate toys.
Look for: an insertion length of at least two inches, as well as a flared base and/or perineum arm.
We love: Aneros Helix Syn Trident Prostate Massager. It’s a toy that trains your anal muscles and pelvic floor muscles gradually, by prompting them to squeeze and release the head. Its broad tip reaches the prostate, and if you’re in a sitting-down position, the arms apply pressure to your perineum. That means you’re getting prostate stimulation from two sides: inside the rectum, and against your perineum.
Overall, an excellent choice for solo and partner play, that lets you control the pressure and stimulation.
Vibrating Toys
The purpose of a vibrating anal toy (also called anal plugs or butt plugs) is to wake up the nerve endings in your anal cavity, and provide more overt stimulation than a non-vibrating toy.
Note: vibration can feel awesome, but it can also be over-stimulating if you’re brand new! If it’s your first time using a vibrating anal toy, try it on the lowest setting first.
VIBRATING PLUGS
You need this if: you’re ready to try internal, anal vibration, but aren’t ready to vibe your prostate just yet.
Look for: a flared base.
We love: Lumen LED Pleasure Plug. It’s got plenty of bells and whistles, but we like it because it’s got a ribbed surface, which feels super nice when you’re graduating from beginner to intermediate anal play. For all its high-tech features, like syncing vibrations to the beat of your music, it’s also perfectly easy to get down old school.
VIBRATING MASSAGERS
You need this if: you’re ready for exciting, vibrating prostate massage.
Look for: an insertion length of at least two inches, and ideally, a handle to control the angle.
We love: LELO Loki Wave Prostate Massager Vibrator. It’s got a “girthy” insertion arm, and instead of just vibrating, the tapered tip actually moves back and forth for a more finger-like prostate massage. Meanwhile, its smaller, external arm vibes on the perineum, whose nerve endings will also light up your prostate.
VIBRATING DUAL STIMULATORS
You need this if: you want to hit your prostate from every available angle, rectum and perineum. In truth, there’s not a lot of difference between vibrating prostate massagers and dual stimulators – but the latter will almost always include a perineum vibration feature.
Look for: an insertion length of at least two inches and a vibrating perineum arm.
We love: We-Vibe Vector Vibrating Prostate Massager. This toy is among the easier ones to sit on, which feels ah-mazing if you’re having face-to-face sex where someone’s sitting in your lap (like lotus position). It cradles your perineum comfortably, and because it’s We-Vibe, it comes with app-controlled capabilities. Translation: put it in, turn it on, let your partner stimulate you from afar.
