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If you've ever avoided anal because it hurt, felt intimidating, or just had too many unanswered questions — you haven't had the right conversation yet. Whether you're completely new to backdoor play or you've been doing it for years without the proper foundation, most people are skipping the steps that actually make it feel good. And that's not a problem. That's an education problem.
In this episode, I sit down with nationally renowned anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein — founder of Bespoke Surgical and Future Method — for the most honest, shame-free breakdown of anal health and pleasure you're going to find anywhere.
In this episode, you'll learn:
• Why anal sex should never be painful, what's actually causing the pain, and the exact 4-6 week protocol that prepares your body the right way
• The truth about douching, wet wipes, and why most people are unknowingly damaging their anal microbiome before sex even starts
• How to navigate anal with hemorrhoids, skin tags, or past injuries — and what your options actually are when something goes wrong
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ABOUT EMILY:
Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.
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Chapters
- 0:00 - Intro
- 1:51 - Meet Dr. Evan Goldstein: Anal Surgeon & Founder of Bespoke Surgical
- 3:46 - Where Does the Taboo Around Anal Come From?
- 6:54 - The Three Pillars: How to Prepare, Play & Recover
- 8:07 - The 4 to 6 Week Dilating Protocol Every Beginner Needs
- 14:08 - Lube 101: Silicone vs. Water-Based & When to Use Each
- 15:55 - The Lube Shooter, Empowering the Bottom & Why You Can't Assume Your Partner Knows
- 16:57 - Douching: Why Water and Store-Bought Enemas Can Do More Harm Than Good
- 20:33 - Less Is More: Gut Health, Fiber & How to Douche the Right Way
- 23:27 - Aftercare: What to Do If You Tear or Have Pain
- 24:19 - Beginner Tips: Positions, Partner Communication & Choosing the Right Size
- 32:38 - Listener Q&A: Hemorrhoids, Skin Tags & Can You Still Have Anal Sex?
- 36:43 - Listener Q&A: Colon Surgery, Couples Starting Out & Sex Positions by State
- 42:14 - Why Wet Wipes Are Wrecking Your Microbiome (Anal and Vaginal)
- 44:45 - Five Quicky Questions with Dr. Goldstein
